Everyday Observations
The Problem of Using Decent Waiting Music and Air Freshener
Department of Human Service’s Assistance for Victims of Terrorism hotline doing for a Mozart String Quartet what a toilet would do for Chanel No. 5
Everyday Observations
The Issue of the Tissue
Wondering – as I vigorously shake every item of a load of freshly washed and still wet laundry – how a single, small 20cm…
Enduring Quotes
“Acquired Brain Injury”
Man entering hospital casualty:- “I’ve acquired a gunshot wound to the head”.
Everyday Observations
Do Not Mention “Vagina”.
Most men would consider any advertisement containing the words “panty” and “vagina” a winner. However, a certain chap, as if in a…
Everyday Observations
Golden Waters, Cock Pond and The Clapham Common
“Watch the sun rise over the crystalline streams and ancient wetlands. At night, your contemplation is only interrupted by the cry of…
Everyday Observations
Precocious Kids With Hyphenated Names
Two Januarys ago The Sunday Age introduced a segment for children’s letters called Summer Kids Your Say. The first respondent was a…
Everyday Observations
Fighting Cavities
The toothpaste I am currently using claims to “fight cavities”. How do you fight a hole?
Enduring Quotes
Oh …!
“Oh woe is me!” Shakespeare (Stratford-upon-Avon) “Oh misery! Oh misery! Oh woe is me! Oh misery!” Wordsworth (Somerset) “Oh shut the f*ck up!”…
Everyday Observations
Frosty Knobbly Knees
The wearing of shorts in inappropriate climes:- The Scouts: tottering, squatting, struggling to survive in damp undergrowth somewhere on the outskirts of Melbourne during…
Everyday Observations
The Drought
Water restrictions are bad news for someone who does their thinking in the shower.